This week I've been speaking a lot on marriage and money. Some of you may know this but according to studies money problems/fights are the second leading cause of divorce behind infidelity. So, what is the real money problem in marriage?

The best answer, it depends on the marriage. I think the problem can be viewed twofold by feeling like: first, not having enough money and second, having too much money. 

Feeling like you don't have enough money puts a lot of strain on a marriage. Fights and arguments arise over petty things but really are stemming from the financial situation of the household. If you've been there or grew up in a household with money fights those moments are never joyful.

Most people believe having too much money is not a problem, but it's a problem indeed. In a marriage it can be difficult to not let money come between spouses if they are not mature enough for the increase. Fighting over what to do with "extra" money can be just as bad as fighting over the feeling of not having enough money. A fight is a fight. Also when people feel they have extra money bad spending decisions typically follow.

The real money problems, to be honest, come from you and your spouse! If you both decide not to be on the same page with finances it's difficult to be successful. For example, if you haven't budgeted your money as a couple how do you know the feeling of not enough is real? How can you determine if a cutback in spending is needed or a new job? Also if you feel you have "extra" money it makes sense to see how much it is so you can agree on what to do with it. Not spend it like there's no tomorrow.

Budgeting helps you and your spouse overcome the real money problems. It let's you know where you are and where you need to go. Please, come together and just do it! Remember you may be the problem, but you are also the solution!

Picture credit: here